And We Say, Good-Bye

For the last 11 years S/V Dragonheart has been our home.  Cynthia grew up on her and Michael and I learned lessons we didn't even know we needed to learn.

She was our own little world.  Sometimes that world was safe and calm and other times not so much.  We learned to anchor, navigate, make our own electricity and water.  We snorkeled, we fished, we read and we had fun.

So many wonderful memories of wonderful times with all our friends. We will miss being out there on the blue and salty ocean, but all good things come to and end.

Dragonheart has new owners who will have new adventures.  We wish them well.

Good-bye old friend.  Takes as good of care of them as you did us.  Dance in the waves and foam and wind as only you can. 

This Blog will end here.  Please follow me on lifecanbemessybringamop.blogspot.com
Thanks for all my followers.
~ Cindy

I have a favor...may-be two

First I believe that we all have the right to our opinions.  Secondly we have the right to express them.  I do not, however, believe that we have the right to bully others with our opinions.

My first favor.  Please stop sending me emails about political candidates.  You will not change my mind.  You especially will not change my mind when you continue to bash, bastardize, and vomit vitriol on any candidate.  You claim in one post that you are a Christian and in the next post you have some vile half truth posted that you want to shove down my throat.  You do not check your facts.  You just continue to spread what ever is out there on the internet.  I can find enough garbage on my own.  I really do not need your help.

I think that good open discourse is necessary.  I find very little of that in the emails and posts that I am reading.  I would hope that we would spend our energy on finding common ground and solutions that truly will help us be The Greatest Country In The World.

My second favor:  This favor is tied to the first.  Please do not put my email address out there for everyone on your list.  Because you have done this in the past your zealot friends now have my address and are flooding my email with the same political crap that you just sent me.  Learn how to use the CC and BCC features of your email.  I know it is harder to do on your phone or tablet, but you can do it.  Learn how.

Thanks for listening to my rant. ~Cindy

Expectations...

I have been thinking about expectations a lot lately.  Not Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.  The expectations that others have for us and the ones that we have for ourselves.

What really got me thinking about this is the two children that sit behind me at Mass.  The young girl must be about 10 years old.   She has made her First Communion.  Her brother is younger, perhaps he is 6 or 7.  They are both old enough to know how to behave in church.  They do not behave.  I really am not upset with them.  I am upset with their parents for having such low expectations of their children's behavior.

I believe that people will meet our expectations of them.  If we set that bar low then they really do not have to work at it.  They can stumble along in mediocrity and be happy.  If we set the bar high and encourage them or better yet are an example to them, in most cases we will find that they will meet those high expectations.

I grew up in a home of expectations.

• My room would be clean and my bed made daily
• I would help clean the house
• I would be truthful
• I would set the table and wash dishes.   No automatic dishwasher in our house.
• I would say, "Yes madam and Yes Sir."
• I would respect my elders.
• I would sit still in church

The list could go on but you get the idea.  Now days it seems that we don't expect much of ourselves or those around us.  We have taken casual to a new high.  I am not suggesting that we go back to the days of women wearing gloves and heels.  I would, however, like to see us use our manners again.

Remember when "Please and Thank You" were magic words?  They still are, but many of us have forgotten that.  Remember when your handshake was a contract?  When we looked each other in the eye when we talked?

I am not saying that the Good Old Days were better.  They were different.  To my way of thinking, respect and politeness never go out of style.

Social Media is a curse and blessing.  It connects us to others that we might not ever meet, however, it also makes us more anonymous and thus we tend to not be as polite as we might be face-to-face.    We do NOT have to self disclose our every thought to everyone on the planet, twitter, or Facebook.  Somethings are and should be private.

Sometimes it is good to sit still, be silent and listen.  It is amazing what you can hear.

So I Went to a Concert

Having a 17 year old will keep you young or put you in an early grave.  Cynthia is a fan of the band,  The Airborne Toxic Event.  I have come to enjoy their music so when they were scheduled to be in Las Vegas I agreed to go to the concert.

The concert took place at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino pool side.  Because of my age I remember going to concerts in stadiums, not poolside in a hotel. REO Speedwagon, Kansas  City, in case you were wondering.

As I looked around and saw the diverse group of people it struck me that here we were in a large group just one day after the horrific shooting in Colorado.  I turned to Cynthia and said we need to talk about what to do if there is a shooting.  Not a pleasant thought but one that we did need to discuss.  It was a very open area with not many places to hide.  We decided that we would play dead.  I decided that I would cover her with my body.  Then we decided to enjoy the concert.

The first band was LOUD! and that is an understatement.  They were so very LOUD that even Cynthia said, "If I go deaf because of this shit, I am going to have the ass."  I had to agree.  It wasn't just that they were LOUD.  You couldn't understand the singer and he was so angry.  Anyway they were the warm up band.

The main event was AMAZING!  It was everything that I had hoped her first concert would be.  She was caught up in the music, the dancing, the crowd.  It was great for her and it was great for me.  I must admit that next time I won't be so close to the stage.  (We were 2 of first 15 people in and it was SRO so there we were in front of the stage next to the SOUND!)

I did realize that I could not stand for the whole thing and found a small table that I could sit on next to a palm tree that gave us a great view and we were at least 15 feet from the SOUND!  Small comfort to our ears, but my feet did thank me.  Cynthia, she stood the whole time!

On the way home she asked me if I was surprised when the lead singer jumped into the pool.  I said not so much I had seen crazier stuff in the 70's and 80's.  Lead singer jumping into the pool...pretty tame.

What did surprise me?  That this Alternative Rock Band was working with Wounded Warriors.  That was AWESOME.

Next concert...earplugs.

Changing Lanes

One thing I know for sure.  Just when you think  you know where your life is headed you find you have to Change Lanes.

This past year has found us moving in directions that we never dreamed of going.  We find ourselves living in the desert of all places and slowly it is growing on me.  I dream of rain and lush green hillsides and find that even though there are palm trees they are surrounded with desert.   But there is a beauty here with the shadows that play across the mountains and mesas. Humming birds are bountiful and the flora and fauna is amazing as it sneaks up on you after even a dusting of raindrops.

In the Land of Beige

We decided that living in the little Class C motorhome was no longer a viable option and have moved into a park model home.  We are still in the same spot with a great view of the Colorado River.  We just have more room in this lane.

Kitchen

New Living Space

Michael has changed lanes and been diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver and has bleeding esophageal varices.  This has landed him in the hospital twice in month.  He is stable now and on a low sodium and bland diet.  It is a difficult change of lanes but one that was a long time coming.

In case that you think I have dodged lane changing you would be wrong.  My lane change was also a long time coming.  I was diagnosed as diabetic.  I am on oral medications and of course a diabetic diet.  Long family history and well, I just plain didn't take good care of myself.

(If any of you have some ideas on how to combine all three diets I am more than open to suggestions.)

Cynthia is changing lanes.  She is taking Drivers Training and learning how to drive a car.  I do believe it is harder than being at the helm of our Dragonheart.




As Cynthia tells me changing lanes can be scarey.  You have to look at so many things at the same time before you do it.  Otherwise,  you may just crash.  We have our signals on and we are moving over.  Watch for us!

A Rose By Any Other Name...

I have always been attracted to names.  Names are important.  They tell a lot about a person.  I try to get peoples names right.  It always irks me a little when someone gets my name wrong.

I have had a few names.  No I am not in the Witness Protection Program.  I just have had a varied life.  I was born Cynthia Marie Bonham.  A simple name.  My immediate family has called me Cindy for as long as I can remember.  My fourth grade teacher called be Bonnie.  She never could remember my name.  She always told me when I corrected her that I looked like a Bonnie.  It should be noted that she is the only person that has ever thought that about me.  Frankly, I think it was an alliteration Bonnie Bonham.

When I was confirmed in the Catholic Church I added my Confirmation Name.  I wanted a male Saint.  So I choose St. Thomas Aquinas.  They insisted that I use the female version of Thomas which is Thomasina.  Many thought that I wanted the name Thomasina because of the Disney movie about the cat, Thomasina.  Not me, I am not partial to cats.  Truth be told I had always wanted a name that could have a cool male nick name.  You know, Lucinda could be Lou.  Samantha could be Sam.  But no I was Cindy.  Listed in the Church Records I was, Cynthia Marie Thomasina Bonham.  To my brother, Joe I was Cindy Boneywanna.  To the my other siblings I was Nanny Goat!

When in High School I was in German Club and as part of taking German we all got to pick out names that would be used in class.  I was Erika.  I loved that name.  I can't tell you why, I just did.

My next name came when I got married.  I became Cynthia Marie Common or just Cindy Common.    When people asked how to spell it I would say, "Common, as in ordinary." It didn't last long.  When divorced I reverted to Cynthia M. Bonham.

  Soon I fell in love or was it lust?  My name changed yet again.  I became Cynthia M. Lawson or just Cindy Lawson.  Two children later that marriage had ended and once again I was Cynthia M Bonham.

Love reared it's head yet again and so did the name change.  Now I was Cynthia M. Bonham-Paddock.  Why did I decided to hyphenate my name.  Well, it is complicated.  I was working on my Master's Degree and I knew that I wanted to honor my parents and my last name.  My father is an only child and our particular branch of the tree was looking a little light at the time.  So I began the frustration of having a hyphenated name.  Not only did I hyphenate my name I decided that I would claim Cynthia as my name.  I had never liked that name.  I wasn't named after anyone and it felt like an old name to me.  But now I was a professional and felt I needed a grown-up name and Cynthia fit the bill.  I came to love the name Cynthia.  It was a name I had to grow into.

Once again my marriage ended, but fear not, I had barely changed my name back to Cynthia M Bonham when I changed the hyphenated part to Bonham-Miller.  At this point in my life the only people that called me Cindy were my family.  I was Cynthia M. Bonham-Miller with lots of initials behind my name.  Then I decided to name my youngest after myself and have a Junior.  Yes, I wanted to share the hyphenated name and to top it off, a female junior.

  Life really got complicated.  Cynthia, Jr came to me around age 6 or 7 and informed my that she did NOT like the name Cindy and she was going to be Cynthia and I would be Cindy!  I was okay with that, I was going to go on a new life adventure and would no longer be working in my profession.  So I became Cindy.  But my official name, the name I sign on documents and who I am, Cynthia M. Bonham-Miller.

Cynthia M. Bonham-Miller, Sr try writing that on a check or filling out a form.  It never fits in the little space/boxes.  So here is the problem.  No one gets my name right.  It is especially difficult if Cynthia and I are together.  For example, the dentist.  They keep us straight by putting us in the computer as Cindy and Cynthia.  The VA has me as Cynthia M. Miller.  I do not know who she is, but I answer when they call me.  The trouble is I am having trouble remembering which name each places uses for me.  So when I call or check in it goes something like this, "It might be under Bonham-Miller or  Bonham or Miller."
"Can you spell that, please?"
"B O N H A M - M I L L E R"  Once the person on the other end actually said " no please spell your entire last name with the hyphen.  I don't know how to spell hyphen."

It went like this, "B O N H A M H Y P H E N M I L L E R"  Her reply was, "So how can I help you today."  I almost burst out laughing.

I love my name I just wish it was easier for everyone else to get it right.  I don't need a change of address card.  I need a change your name card.  My father tells me that in his address book my last name is in pencil!

Memorial Day 2012

WE MUST NEVER FORGET THE SACRIFICE FOR OUR FREEDOM.