Thoughts While Doing the Laundry

I went to do the laundry the other day and found myself perusing a People magazine.  It was the August 29 2011 issue.  The article that caught me eye was; Can Corporal Ian Manning Save His Marriage?  The article was written by Sharon Cotliar with  photographs by Nina Berman.

The article tells the story of Ian and Bernadette Manning.  Both are struggling with Ian's return from Iraq.  Ian is not the same man that left for Iraq, nor is Bernadette the same woman who said good bye to Ian.  Combat changes a person.  Being left at home while your loved one is in harm's way changes a person too.

Ian and Bernadette go on a retreat which is hosted by Project Sanctuary.  Heather Ehle is the founder of Project Sanctuary.  Heather credits the participants with the success of the project.  Heather and Project Sanctuary have created an ideal resort like setting staffed by volunteers and paid professionals.  They, as of the writing of the article, have a waiting list of 700 military families.   You can see more at: Project Sanctuary.

I am of the belief that Ian can not save his marriage.  It will take more than just Ian to do that.  Ian and Bernadette had only known each other for two weeks before they were engaged.  They married five months later.  Not much time to really get to know each other.  Now Ian is back and diagnosed with PTSD.  They don't share much of anything together anymore.  A very common situation for soldiers and their families.  But they have a much better chance to save their marriage because of Project Sanctuary.

Bernadette and Ian are lucky to have a support group.  The soldiers returning from Viet Nam weren't as lucky.  The Viet Nam returning soldier had very little support.  There weren't yellow ribbons on cars and "Support Our Troops" signs everywhere.  Entertainers were not forming support groups then either.  As a Nation we abandoned not only the soldier, but the families also.

My mother raised four children and had my Grandma (with a heart condition) move in while my Dad was in Viet Nam.   She also held down a full-time job.  She survived a tornado and a bad car accident.

Her support group was made up her children, my Grandma, and friends.  There were protesters everywhere and no own said, "Support our Troops".  They survived because they really knew each other before they got married.  They survived because they had and have a tremendous faith in God and a shared religion.  They shared a foundation of friendship before they were married. 

I wish you luck Ian and Bernadette.  You will have a long road ahead of you.  The real work is after the retreat.

  Support our Troops!  It should be more than a yellow plastic ribbon stuck on a car.