And We Say, Good-Bye

For the last 11 years S/V Dragonheart has been our home.  Cynthia grew up on her and Michael and I learned lessons we didn't even know we needed to learn.

She was our own little world.  Sometimes that world was safe and calm and other times not so much.  We learned to anchor, navigate, make our own electricity and water.  We snorkeled, we fished, we read and we had fun.

So many wonderful memories of wonderful times with all our friends. We will miss being out there on the blue and salty ocean, but all good things come to and end.

Dragonheart has new owners who will have new adventures.  We wish them well.

Good-bye old friend.  Takes as good of care of them as you did us.  Dance in the waves and foam and wind as only you can. 

This Blog will end here.  Please follow me on lifecanbemessybringamop.blogspot.com
Thanks for all my followers.
~ Cindy

I have a favor...may-be two

First I believe that we all have the right to our opinions.  Secondly we have the right to express them.  I do not, however, believe that we have the right to bully others with our opinions.

My first favor.  Please stop sending me emails about political candidates.  You will not change my mind.  You especially will not change my mind when you continue to bash, bastardize, and vomit vitriol on any candidate.  You claim in one post that you are a Christian and in the next post you have some vile half truth posted that you want to shove down my throat.  You do not check your facts.  You just continue to spread what ever is out there on the internet.  I can find enough garbage on my own.  I really do not need your help.

I think that good open discourse is necessary.  I find very little of that in the emails and posts that I am reading.  I would hope that we would spend our energy on finding common ground and solutions that truly will help us be The Greatest Country In The World.

My second favor:  This favor is tied to the first.  Please do not put my email address out there for everyone on your list.  Because you have done this in the past your zealot friends now have my address and are flooding my email with the same political crap that you just sent me.  Learn how to use the CC and BCC features of your email.  I know it is harder to do on your phone or tablet, but you can do it.  Learn how.

Thanks for listening to my rant. ~Cindy

Expectations...

I have been thinking about expectations a lot lately.  Not Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.  The expectations that others have for us and the ones that we have for ourselves.

What really got me thinking about this is the two children that sit behind me at Mass.  The young girl must be about 10 years old.   She has made her First Communion.  Her brother is younger, perhaps he is 6 or 7.  They are both old enough to know how to behave in church.  They do not behave.  I really am not upset with them.  I am upset with their parents for having such low expectations of their children's behavior.

I believe that people will meet our expectations of them.  If we set that bar low then they really do not have to work at it.  They can stumble along in mediocrity and be happy.  If we set the bar high and encourage them or better yet are an example to them, in most cases we will find that they will meet those high expectations.

I grew up in a home of expectations.

• My room would be clean and my bed made daily
• I would help clean the house
• I would be truthful
• I would set the table and wash dishes.   No automatic dishwasher in our house.
• I would say, "Yes madam and Yes Sir."
• I would respect my elders.
• I would sit still in church

The list could go on but you get the idea.  Now days it seems that we don't expect much of ourselves or those around us.  We have taken casual to a new high.  I am not suggesting that we go back to the days of women wearing gloves and heels.  I would, however, like to see us use our manners again.

Remember when "Please and Thank You" were magic words?  They still are, but many of us have forgotten that.  Remember when your handshake was a contract?  When we looked each other in the eye when we talked?

I am not saying that the Good Old Days were better.  They were different.  To my way of thinking, respect and politeness never go out of style.

Social Media is a curse and blessing.  It connects us to others that we might not ever meet, however, it also makes us more anonymous and thus we tend to not be as polite as we might be face-to-face.    We do NOT have to self disclose our every thought to everyone on the planet, twitter, or Facebook.  Somethings are and should be private.

Sometimes it is good to sit still, be silent and listen.  It is amazing what you can hear.

So I Went to a Concert

Having a 17 year old will keep you young or put you in an early grave.  Cynthia is a fan of the band,  The Airborne Toxic Event.  I have come to enjoy their music so when they were scheduled to be in Las Vegas I agreed to go to the concert.

The concert took place at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino pool side.  Because of my age I remember going to concerts in stadiums, not poolside in a hotel. REO Speedwagon, Kansas  City, in case you were wondering.

As I looked around and saw the diverse group of people it struck me that here we were in a large group just one day after the horrific shooting in Colorado.  I turned to Cynthia and said we need to talk about what to do if there is a shooting.  Not a pleasant thought but one that we did need to discuss.  It was a very open area with not many places to hide.  We decided that we would play dead.  I decided that I would cover her with my body.  Then we decided to enjoy the concert.

The first band was LOUD! and that is an understatement.  They were so very LOUD that even Cynthia said, "If I go deaf because of this shit, I am going to have the ass."  I had to agree.  It wasn't just that they were LOUD.  You couldn't understand the singer and he was so angry.  Anyway they were the warm up band.

The main event was AMAZING!  It was everything that I had hoped her first concert would be.  She was caught up in the music, the dancing, the crowd.  It was great for her and it was great for me.  I must admit that next time I won't be so close to the stage.  (We were 2 of first 15 people in and it was SRO so there we were in front of the stage next to the SOUND!)

I did realize that I could not stand for the whole thing and found a small table that I could sit on next to a palm tree that gave us a great view and we were at least 15 feet from the SOUND!  Small comfort to our ears, but my feet did thank me.  Cynthia, she stood the whole time!

On the way home she asked me if I was surprised when the lead singer jumped into the pool.  I said not so much I had seen crazier stuff in the 70's and 80's.  Lead singer jumping into the pool...pretty tame.

What did surprise me?  That this Alternative Rock Band was working with Wounded Warriors.  That was AWESOME.

Next concert...earplugs.

Changing Lanes

One thing I know for sure.  Just when you think  you know where your life is headed you find you have to Change Lanes.

This past year has found us moving in directions that we never dreamed of going.  We find ourselves living in the desert of all places and slowly it is growing on me.  I dream of rain and lush green hillsides and find that even though there are palm trees they are surrounded with desert.   But there is a beauty here with the shadows that play across the mountains and mesas. Humming birds are bountiful and the flora and fauna is amazing as it sneaks up on you after even a dusting of raindrops.

In the Land of Beige

We decided that living in the little Class C motorhome was no longer a viable option and have moved into a park model home.  We are still in the same spot with a great view of the Colorado River.  We just have more room in this lane.

Kitchen

New Living Space

Michael has changed lanes and been diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver and has bleeding esophageal varices.  This has landed him in the hospital twice in month.  He is stable now and on a low sodium and bland diet.  It is a difficult change of lanes but one that was a long time coming.

In case that you think I have dodged lane changing you would be wrong.  My lane change was also a long time coming.  I was diagnosed as diabetic.  I am on oral medications and of course a diabetic diet.  Long family history and well, I just plain didn't take good care of myself.

(If any of you have some ideas on how to combine all three diets I am more than open to suggestions.)

Cynthia is changing lanes.  She is taking Drivers Training and learning how to drive a car.  I do believe it is harder than being at the helm of our Dragonheart.




As Cynthia tells me changing lanes can be scarey.  You have to look at so many things at the same time before you do it.  Otherwise,  you may just crash.  We have our signals on and we are moving over.  Watch for us!

A Rose By Any Other Name...

I have always been attracted to names.  Names are important.  They tell a lot about a person.  I try to get peoples names right.  It always irks me a little when someone gets my name wrong.

I have had a few names.  No I am not in the Witness Protection Program.  I just have had a varied life.  I was born Cynthia Marie Bonham.  A simple name.  My immediate family has called me Cindy for as long as I can remember.  My fourth grade teacher called be Bonnie.  She never could remember my name.  She always told me when I corrected her that I looked like a Bonnie.  It should be noted that she is the only person that has ever thought that about me.  Frankly, I think it was an alliteration Bonnie Bonham.

When I was confirmed in the Catholic Church I added my Confirmation Name.  I wanted a male Saint.  So I choose St. Thomas Aquinas.  They insisted that I use the female version of Thomas which is Thomasina.  Many thought that I wanted the name Thomasina because of the Disney movie about the cat, Thomasina.  Not me, I am not partial to cats.  Truth be told I had always wanted a name that could have a cool male nick name.  You know, Lucinda could be Lou.  Samantha could be Sam.  But no I was Cindy.  Listed in the Church Records I was, Cynthia Marie Thomasina Bonham.  To my brother, Joe I was Cindy Boneywanna.  To the my other siblings I was Nanny Goat!

When in High School I was in German Club and as part of taking German we all got to pick out names that would be used in class.  I was Erika.  I loved that name.  I can't tell you why, I just did.

My next name came when I got married.  I became Cynthia Marie Common or just Cindy Common.    When people asked how to spell it I would say, "Common, as in ordinary." It didn't last long.  When divorced I reverted to Cynthia M. Bonham.

  Soon I fell in love or was it lust?  My name changed yet again.  I became Cynthia M. Lawson or just Cindy Lawson.  Two children later that marriage had ended and once again I was Cynthia M Bonham.

Love reared it's head yet again and so did the name change.  Now I was Cynthia M. Bonham-Paddock.  Why did I decided to hyphenate my name.  Well, it is complicated.  I was working on my Master's Degree and I knew that I wanted to honor my parents and my last name.  My father is an only child and our particular branch of the tree was looking a little light at the time.  So I began the frustration of having a hyphenated name.  Not only did I hyphenate my name I decided that I would claim Cynthia as my name.  I had never liked that name.  I wasn't named after anyone and it felt like an old name to me.  But now I was a professional and felt I needed a grown-up name and Cynthia fit the bill.  I came to love the name Cynthia.  It was a name I had to grow into.

Once again my marriage ended, but fear not, I had barely changed my name back to Cynthia M Bonham when I changed the hyphenated part to Bonham-Miller.  At this point in my life the only people that called me Cindy were my family.  I was Cynthia M. Bonham-Miller with lots of initials behind my name.  Then I decided to name my youngest after myself and have a Junior.  Yes, I wanted to share the hyphenated name and to top it off, a female junior.

  Life really got complicated.  Cynthia, Jr came to me around age 6 or 7 and informed my that she did NOT like the name Cindy and she was going to be Cynthia and I would be Cindy!  I was okay with that, I was going to go on a new life adventure and would no longer be working in my profession.  So I became Cindy.  But my official name, the name I sign on documents and who I am, Cynthia M. Bonham-Miller.

Cynthia M. Bonham-Miller, Sr try writing that on a check or filling out a form.  It never fits in the little space/boxes.  So here is the problem.  No one gets my name right.  It is especially difficult if Cynthia and I are together.  For example, the dentist.  They keep us straight by putting us in the computer as Cindy and Cynthia.  The VA has me as Cynthia M. Miller.  I do not know who she is, but I answer when they call me.  The trouble is I am having trouble remembering which name each places uses for me.  So when I call or check in it goes something like this, "It might be under Bonham-Miller or  Bonham or Miller."
"Can you spell that, please?"
"B O N H A M - M I L L E R"  Once the person on the other end actually said " no please spell your entire last name with the hyphen.  I don't know how to spell hyphen."

It went like this, "B O N H A M H Y P H E N M I L L E R"  Her reply was, "So how can I help you today."  I almost burst out laughing.

I love my name I just wish it was easier for everyone else to get it right.  I don't need a change of address card.  I need a change your name card.  My father tells me that in his address book my last name is in pencil!

Memorial Day 2012

WE MUST NEVER FORGET THE SACRIFICE FOR OUR FREEDOM.

Just a Little Church Rant

Please forgive me in advance for this little rant.  I have set on this for a couple of days and it still is bothering me.

Sunday at Mass I was distracted.  Here are some of the things that distracted me:

• The ADHD father and son next to me.  Fidgeting and talking continuously
• The ladies in the front who talk during the Rosary, Mass, after communion, etc
• The couple in front of me talking to the people in front of them during the petitions
• The individuals that feel the need during the Sign of Peace to walk around the Church to all their friends
• The individuals that don't sing.  If God gave you a bad singing voice give it back to Him!
• The Eucharistic Minister that will NOT distribute Communion any place put next to the priest 

In reality none of these things should have distracted me.  I am not a Saint, I can only hope to be a Saint in the making.  I should not be at Mass to watch those individuals around me.  My focus should be on The Sacrifice of the Mass.

Even though I know where my focus should be I am easily distracted and then I get irritated and then I realize that I and only I did NOT really attend Mass.  Instead I chose to pay more attention to the distractions, not the Sacrifice.

What can I say?  I will try harder, but Lord could you at least drop those other people a nudge?  Thanks in advance.

Love,
Cindy

The Boat Is For Sale

Well the day has come, we have put the boat up for sale.  Talking to other cruisers in the marina it appears that we are not alone.

It also appears that there is an evolution in cruising.  Most, but not all start out in a mono-hull and then move to a multi-hull.  Some go even further and move to a Trawler!  Not us we are doing the new evolution and we are not alone.  Boat to RV!

There are similarities to boating and RVing.  12 volt systems, you can be on or off the grid as much as you want.  You tend to be independent, living in water or dirt groups, potlucks are a staple and everyone has stories.

I will miss the boat in ways that I never thought I would  here are some of the things I will miss:

• sleeping with the waves rocking me to sleep
• the great counter space in my galley
• watching the sunrise and set from my cockpit
• watching the stars move across the sky via the hatch over my bed
• the endless ease dropping on conversations via the VHF radio
• being the only boat in an anchorage
• sharing an anchorage with another boat
• being the first in the anchorage so that we can watch the show and not be the show
• grocery shopping by dinghy
• dolphins!
• snorkeling off the back of the boat
• Happy Hour at anchor
• the horizon that meets the sea offshore
• the sails full of wind and the sound of the water slipping under us
• the SSB net
• being alone on the ocean
• the International community

It has been a good run and now it is time for someone else to enjoy Dragonheart.  I know that Dragonheart is just waiting for someone to take her out to the big blue and let her dance again in the wind and waves.  That is where she is happiest.

  Oh, I how I wish I could dance with her forever!

There’s a Bee in My Bonnet!

Actually there are bees in our mast making honey and lord knows what else.  Bees in masts are a common problem that you face when your boat doesn’t move much.  Here at the marina several boats have had bees over the years.

This year it is our turn.  Barnacle had them and got rid of them with poison.  Déjà Vu had them.  Then Pamela Jean had them and paid an exterminator to rid their boat of bees.  The next day the bees were swarming over the mast of Consort.  When Androsian had them Carole put a sign up with an arrow pointing to our boat, just before they poisoned their bees.

So this morning Bob from Barnacle came to inject our mast with poison.  Apparently the bees were forewarned of my intent.

This note was taped to the mast.

The Note from the Bees

I will translate.

Please! Please! Please!

Do not kill us bee bees, This is our house, we live in the mast!

Dear Queen of Dragonheart – please, accept this gift – the sugar of our bodies and do not kill us!!

Bee Kind and bee nevolent!

With love,

The Bees

Of course there was the small gift of honey setting on the deck.  Still in all I do not want the mast full of bees.

The honey for the Queen of Dragonheart

I told Bob to begin injecting the mast!

Thanks Jewels for making my day.  To bad about the bees!

Lines, Apple, The Black Christ & Choices

Waiting in Comfort for Apple

Lines, I have never liked standing in lines.  There are lines in the grocery store, the bank, at the movies and lines in the Army.

Recently Apple debuted the new iPad and the lines were spectacular!  People camped out for days in front of Apple Stores and waited for the latest and greatest that Apple had to offer.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Apple products; I even ordered the new iPad online and had it delivered to my sister’s house so that it will be waiting for me when I return to the States.  No line for me!

So this past weekend we went to Esquipulas, Guatemala to see the Black Christ in the Basilica there.  We went with friends from the marina.  What do you think we encountered… Lines!  It was the most amazing thing that I have seen in a long time.

Of course it is the Lenten Season and most Catholics are busy preparing their souls for Easter.  It is a time of reflection on the suffering and death of our Lord.  To my way of thinking the Catholics of Guatemala are doing it right.  Not only do they make pilgrimage during Lent, it is all year round.  When the buses leave Esquipulas they decorate them with colorful brush ropes that make it clear to all that they are from Esquipulas, home of the Black Christ.

A Portion of the Line

The wait to see the Black Christ up close was over 3 hours!  You have a chance to be up close and personal, a chance to leave a fetcha, or milagro that asks for healing or forgiveness.  You walk out backwards so as never to turn you back on the crucified Christ.

Busloads of Latin Americans travel to ask prayers at the feet of the Black Christ.   They wait in line patiently, entire families: small children and babies on their backs without much more than a bottle of water and perhaps some tortillas.  No camp chairs and sleeping bags for them!

The Basilica

On the day we arrived we saw the line and were convinced we couldn’t wait.  We went in and looked from afar near the foot of the Alter.  We participated in part of the Misa or Mass and shopped in the Gift Shop.  We discussed our next plan of attack.  We figured that we only had one more chance to get a photo.  That would be before Mass in the morning.  The first Mass was at 06:30.  Orin, Cynthia and myself decided that we would get up and leave the hotel by 05:45 so that we would be there before Mass.

The Black Christ

We met in the dark hotel lobby and when we emerged into the dawn we found that there was no transportation.  So we walked to the Basilica.  Imagine our surprise when the line was three times as long!  We entered the Basilica and it was full to capacity with people filling the aisles.  We were able to get closer, but not close enough for a photo.  We said our prayers and turned to leave.  Again we found no transportation so we began the walk back, only this time it was up hill and Cynthia was the only one with good knees.  Orin and I were crippled, but determined.  I admit that I wimped out about 500 meters from the hotel and caught the first tuk tuk that I saw.  It was worth the 4Q or fifty-one cents!

So by now I am sure you are wondering what lines, Apple products and the Black Christ have in common.  Our lives are full of lines.  We decide which lines we will stand in and wait.

 I certainly wasn’t willing to stand in a line for a new iPad, though I only circumvented that by ordering online.  In effect I stood in a virtual line.  When faced with the decision to stand in a real line to spend a few minutes in front of the crucified Christ I looked for ways to make it easy.  Instead, like most of the Apostles I stood at the bottom or not at all.  I was not a Mary or a John.  I was more like Peter and the rest.  Standing on the side peering over the heads of others, hidden by the crowd.

Yes, we choose and based on those choices we are judged.

And It Rains in Guatemala

When we moved to Bullhead City, AZ in the Fort Mohave Desert I was so homesick for lush green of the Rio Dulce in Guatemala that I was lost in the beige.  I longed for the flight of wild parrots, egrets, cormorants and the Maria Antoinettes (Lesser Green Heron) of the river.  I missed the masses of wild orchids and Emperor Staffs that bloomed with abandon at the marina.  The Flame of the Forrest by the Marina Office and the sweet smell of jasmine as you walked the path in the evening.

Now I am on my boat on the Rio Dulce and in the morning I sip coffee in my favorite corner watching the clouds cover and then uncover Cerro San Gil.  The shades of gray and green in an every changing dance of shadow and light.

Of late the sun has been hidden in torrential rains that have raised the river enough that I have adjusted fenders on the boat.  The good thing is that our carpenter has been sealing all the leaks!  Today he even came by in the rain to make sure that his repairs were working.  I assured him that all was well with his repairs, but that I had found a new leak.  He tracked it down and assured me that he would return on Monday and do a permanent fix.

I find that my skin is no longer scaly, but plump with the humidity.  My hair is curling in ways that I had forgotten it could.

I miss my walk around bed.  I had forgotten how hard it is to get in and out of the V-Berth.  You swing you legs over your husband’s head and hope that you don’t fall out on the floor.  Because I am not as limber or as thin as I was once was I now have to grab one leg and move it over his head, I can only hope that my heel won’t drag across his nose or forehead.  Now it is time for the other leg to be assisted as it too crosses over his head.  Sliding to the floor with the assistance of a small stool I now rush to the Head, which is only 2 feet away.  However, when you have a full bladder and have just completed gymnastics for the morning 2 feet might as well be 2 miles!

We are busy cleaning out each locker and I do believe that we have removed 10lbs of old paperwork!  Old photos cause us to stop and reminisce for a moment and then Cynthia reminds us that we have work to do.  Tons of stuff has been donated to various people in the village and the orphanage down river.  May-be the river isn’t up as much as I thought, it could be that the boat is lighter and sitting higher in the water.

Think that we need a couple of weeks of good dry weather so that they can finish with the work on the boat.  Then I can start packing the things we are bringing back.  Until then I promise to try and enjoy each day in Guatemala.

Lists, I Love Them

I am a list maker.  I think as soon I could write I became a list maker.

There is even special paper numbered for list making.  There are printed grocery lists with the staples there and you add your items.  Scrap paper can be used for list making.  The ever popular note pad, index cards; lined of course.  And now there are list Apps.

I find that I get sucked into buying the list app and then using good old paper and pencil.  I do not like pen for list making.  I will admit to making a list of things that I have completed so that I can line through each item.   Sometimes you need a completed list after the events as much as before the events.

Currently I have a shopping list, a packing for Guatemala list, a to-do list for genealogy, a book reading list.  Actually the book reading list is several lists combined on a website.  You know goodreads.com where I have, books to read, books read, books currently reading, books I couldn't finish, etc.

There is the list about putting away the motorhome while we are in Guatemala.  The list to remind me of things to tell my family before I go to Guatemala.  The list about the cleaning the boat when we get to Guatemala and eventually the list about putting the boat up for sale in Guatemala.

In all honesty I must admit that I just bought a new list app.  It is called "Clear".  I will have to let you know what I think about it as soon as I transfer my paper lists to it.

Clear App

Happy list making!

Cafeteria Catholics

I admit it, I am a Cafeteria Catholic.  Most of us are, if we are honest with ourselves.  Unfortunately being Catholic is not like ordering from a Chinese Restaurant; one from column A and one from column B.

We are expected to follow the precepts of the Church, all of them.  Right now there is a large political firestorm about the HHS mandate.  I have set in the pew and have heard the Bishop's letter.  I have watched TV Spinners and I have struggled with my heart.

I have heard about who is a Catholic on Capitol Hill and it concerns me.  First and foremost I do NOT know, nor do I want to know the status of their soul.  That, like the condition of my soul is between me and my God.  It it hard enough to know that HE knows.  We must remember that they are speaking as a single Catholic.  They are NOT speaking as or for the Catholic Church.  We have Priests,  Bishops, Cardinals and the Pope for that.  Not our political representatives.

  Secondly, we as Catholics have given the press and the public in general plenty of ammo.  Many Catholics use Birth Control and we are not talking the Rhythm Method.  Many of us know of a Catholic that has either had an Abortion, helped pay for an Abortion or turns a blind eye, because it would cause a division in the family if we followed the Church Teaching on Abortion.

Thirdly, there is the Church's stand on Homosexuality.  This is where I your humble struggling Catholic have a problem.  If God made us in his image and likeness then I can't believe that he didn't make homosexuals.  I believe that he loves them as much as anyone else.  I can not believe that they are an abomination.

When you look at someone and label them Catholic please remember that they are imperfect souls, struggling with their own demons and questions.  Please don't say well there goes a "Good Catholic" when we breakdown and do something totally human, try and forgive them.  They are only 'Saints in the Making", not Saints.

Do I Still Want Facebook in My Life

I have had mixed feelings about Facebook from day one.  Originally I was sucked in because a good friend invited me to see some photos.  Turns out that if I wanted to see the photos then I had to join Facebook.

It was very exciting in the beginning.  Sharing updates, photos, little bits of our lives and then it happened.  Facebook started to dominate my life.  High School buddies started to show up.  So did ex-husbands, their current wives and various children.

It is not that I am not happy to keep up with all these wonderful people, but really, I am finding that I am not really sharing anything with them.  Nothing that really matters to me.

I miss the days of looking in my inbox and finding a chatty email with a photo attached.  Now most of my emails are from companies or blog updates.  It seems that the more connected I am the more disconnected I feel.

I have been using Facebook less and less and am seriously thinking about dropping it all together.  I long for a phone call (I hate the phone), or a chatty email.  It still care, I just am tired of hitting the "like" button.

A Website I Hope I Never Have to Use

CaringBridge.org is a non-profit organization that helps keep family and friends updated about a loved one that is in hospital or hospice.
According to their website you create a personalized patient website.  Let CaringBridge make each health journey easier by providing private, online journals.

The site helps you create a FREE easy-to-create website including a blog.

Recently I used this service. A friend's father was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  They created a website for him and I was able to follow via an updated site about what was happening.  More importantly I was able to communicate with them and offer my support.

For anyone that has had to try and keep a multitude of caring family and friends up-to-date on the daily hospital happenings knows how exhausting this can be.   By the time you get home you just want to lay down.  Now via this wonderful site you can write one update and everyone can read it at their leisure and feel fully informed.

I sure wish we would have known about this service when my Dad had brain surgery.  It would have made my Mom's life easier.

Thank you CaringBridge for your wonderful service.