Expectations...

I have been thinking about expectations a lot lately.  Not Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.  The expectations that others have for us and the ones that we have for ourselves.

What really got me thinking about this is the two children that sit behind me at Mass.  The young girl must be about 10 years old.   She has made her First Communion.  Her brother is younger, perhaps he is 6 or 7.  They are both old enough to know how to behave in church.  They do not behave.  I really am not upset with them.  I am upset with their parents for having such low expectations of their children's behavior.

I believe that people will meet our expectations of them.  If we set that bar low then they really do not have to work at it.  They can stumble along in mediocrity and be happy.  If we set the bar high and encourage them or better yet are an example to them, in most cases we will find that they will meet those high expectations.

I grew up in a home of expectations.

• My room would be clean and my bed made daily
• I would help clean the house
• I would be truthful
• I would set the table and wash dishes.   No automatic dishwasher in our house.
• I would say, "Yes madam and Yes Sir."
• I would respect my elders.
• I would sit still in church

The list could go on but you get the idea.  Now days it seems that we don't expect much of ourselves or those around us.  We have taken casual to a new high.  I am not suggesting that we go back to the days of women wearing gloves and heels.  I would, however, like to see us use our manners again.

Remember when "Please and Thank You" were magic words?  They still are, but many of us have forgotten that.  Remember when your handshake was a contract?  When we looked each other in the eye when we talked?

I am not saying that the Good Old Days were better.  They were different.  To my way of thinking, respect and politeness never go out of style.

Social Media is a curse and blessing.  It connects us to others that we might not ever meet, however, it also makes us more anonymous and thus we tend to not be as polite as we might be face-to-face.    We do NOT have to self disclose our every thought to everyone on the planet, twitter, or Facebook.  Somethings are and should be private.

Sometimes it is good to sit still, be silent and listen.  It is amazing what you can hear.

Just a Little Church Rant

Please forgive me in advance for this little rant.  I have set on this for a couple of days and it still is bothering me.

Sunday at Mass I was distracted.  Here are some of the things that distracted me:

• The ADHD father and son next to me.  Fidgeting and talking continuously
• The ladies in the front who talk during the Rosary, Mass, after communion, etc
• The couple in front of me talking to the people in front of them during the petitions
• The individuals that feel the need during the Sign of Peace to walk around the Church to all their friends
• The individuals that don't sing.  If God gave you a bad singing voice give it back to Him!
• The Eucharistic Minister that will NOT distribute Communion any place put next to the priest 

In reality none of these things should have distracted me.  I am not a Saint, I can only hope to be a Saint in the making.  I should not be at Mass to watch those individuals around me.  My focus should be on The Sacrifice of the Mass.

Even though I know where my focus should be I am easily distracted and then I get irritated and then I realize that I and only I did NOT really attend Mass.  Instead I chose to pay more attention to the distractions, not the Sacrifice.

What can I say?  I will try harder, but Lord could you at least drop those other people a nudge?  Thanks in advance.

Love,
Cindy

The Church on the Hill

I am a cradle Catholic.  I do not have a single memory of a time of when I was not Catholic.  It is a part of the fabric of who I am.
Sure I haven't always been a practicing Catholic, but in time of trouble I find my rosary in my hand and Hail Marys falling from my lips.  I grew up when Mass went from Latin to the vernacular.  I missed so many things when we went to  English Mass.  Nuns in Habits, my big missal with all the colored ribbons, the tradition of Latin and the priest's back to you.  It was all a mystery, but a mystery that I was part of...I grew to love the new Mass.  I sang at the Guitar Mass, taught CCD and was happy with the changes.
I fell away from the Church.  Now I am trying to come back.  It is a struggle.  It appears that there are more changes on the horizon for the Liturgy of the Mass.  It has been 40 years and now they want to change some of the wording.  Okay, I can learn new versions of prayers.  It will take some time I am sure, but I know that I can do it.
Here is the fly in the ointment.  I know in my heart that church is more than a building and more than the priest.  It is suppose to be my relationship to God and how I live my life.  So I move to a place where there is this new monstrosity of a church.  It sits on a mesa and overlooks the entire town.  It is so tall that they had to get a permission from the City Fathers to build above the approved height requirement.  It has taken them 19 years to complete the church and they still have a shortfall of over $237,000.  In my humble opinion they should not have built a church until they had all the money needed.  It is fiscally irresponsible!  I also believe that they didn't need this big a church.  A smaller building would have served the Parish and they could have clothed and fed a lot of poor people with that money.   But even the building itself is really not the issue.

The real issue is...the place feels cold.  Not just the building, it is the priest and the people.  I never have felt welcome.  I never feel that I have been to Mass.  The whole environment feels negative.  For example, when the Choir Director comes down to help the congregation learn some of the new Responsorial Psalms, instead of introducing them with a positive outlook he says, " I have to teach you these new responses."  How about this instead, "As you know the Church is changing some of the Liturgy and I am here to help you learn the new responses."

So I went across the river to Nevada and found a home.  The priest met us at the door before Mass.  All the people said good morning.  It is a small well designed building but feels welcoming.  Before Mass the commentator invited us to say Hello to the people around us.  People are shaking hands, hugging, waving from across the way.  Smiles and more smiles.  They wanted us there and they wanted to be there.  The sermon was uplifting and not condemning.  When I walked out I felt that I had been to Mass.