Tuesday, June 5, 2012

A Rose By Any Other Name...

I have always been attracted to names.  Names are important.  They tell a lot about a person.  I try to get peoples names right.  It always irks me a little when someone gets my name wrong.

I have had a few names.  No I am not in the Witness Protection Program.  I just have had a varied life.  I was born Cynthia Marie Bonham.  A simple name.  My immediate family has called me Cindy for as long as I can remember.  My fourth grade teacher called be Bonnie.  She never could remember my name.  She always told me when I corrected her that I looked like a Bonnie.  It should be noted that she is the only person that has ever thought that about me.  Frankly, I think it was an alliteration Bonnie Bonham.

When I was confirmed in the Catholic Church I added my Confirmation Name.  I wanted a male Saint.  So I choose St. Thomas Aquinas.  They insisted that I use the female version of Thomas which is Thomasina.  Many thought that I wanted the name Thomasina because of the Disney movie about the cat, Thomasina.  Not me, I am not partial to cats.  Truth be told I had always wanted a name that could have a cool male nick name.  You know, Lucinda could be Lou.  Samantha could be Sam.  But no I was Cindy.  Listed in the Church Records I was, Cynthia Marie Thomasina Bonham.  To my brother, Joe I was Cindy Boneywanna.  To the my other siblings I was Nanny Goat!

When in High School I was in German Club and as part of taking German we all got to pick out names that would be used in class.  I was Erika.  I loved that name.  I can't tell you why, I just did.

My next name came when I got married.  I became Cynthia Marie Common or just Cindy Common.    When people asked how to spell it I would say, "Common, as in ordinary." It didn't last long.  When divorced I reverted to Cynthia M. Bonham.

  Soon I fell in love or was it lust?  My name changed yet again.  I became Cynthia M. Lawson or just Cindy Lawson.  Two children later that marriage had ended and once again I was Cynthia M Bonham.

Love reared it's head yet again and so did the name change.  Now I was Cynthia M. Bonham-Paddock.  Why did I decided to hyphenate my name.  Well, it is complicated.  I was working on my Master's Degree and I knew that I wanted to honor my parents and my last name.  My father is an only child and our particular branch of the tree was looking a little light at the time.  So I began the frustration of having a hyphenated name.  Not only did I hyphenate my name I decided that I would claim Cynthia as my name.  I had never liked that name.  I wasn't named after anyone and it felt like an old name to me.  But now I was a professional and felt I needed a grown-up name and Cynthia fit the bill.  I came to love the name Cynthia.  It was a name I had to grow into.

Once again my marriage ended, but fear not, I had barely changed my name back to Cynthia M Bonham when I changed the hyphenated part to Bonham-Miller.  At this point in my life the only people that called me Cindy were my family.  I was Cynthia M. Bonham-Miller with lots of initials behind my name.  Then I decided to name my youngest after myself and have a Junior.  Yes, I wanted to share the hyphenated name and to top it off, a female junior.

  Life really got complicated.  Cynthia, Jr came to me around age 6 or 7 and informed my that she did NOT like the name Cindy and she was going to be Cynthia and I would be Cindy!  I was okay with that, I was going to go on a new life adventure and would no longer be working in my profession.  So I became Cindy.  But my official name, the name I sign on documents and who I am, Cynthia M. Bonham-Miller.

Cynthia M. Bonham-Miller, Sr try writing that on a check or filling out a form.  It never fits in the little space/boxes.  So here is the problem.  No one gets my name right.  It is especially difficult if Cynthia and I are together.  For example, the dentist.  They keep us straight by putting us in the computer as Cindy and Cynthia.  The VA has me as Cynthia M. Miller.  I do not know who she is, but I answer when they call me.  The trouble is I am having trouble remembering which name each places uses for me.  So when I call or check in it goes something like this, "It might be under Bonham-Miller or  Bonham or Miller."
"Can you spell that, please?"
"B O N H A M - M I L L E R"  Once the person on the other end actually said " no please spell your entire last name with the hyphen.  I don't know how to spell hyphen."

It went like this, "B O N H A M H Y P H E N M I L L E R"  Her reply was, "So how can I help you today."  I almost burst out laughing.

I love my name I just wish it was easier for everyone else to get it right.  I don't need a change of address card.  I need a change your name card.  My father tells me that in his address book my last name is in pencil!

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