I took an unexpected trip on the 28th of August. My Mom called and said that my Dad was in the hospital and had had brain surgery. Those words, “Brain Surgery” sound so very scary! He had 4 subdural hematomas. The one in the center of his brain had 4 layers the size of small pancakes. His only symptom was he got a headache when he blew his nose, and he started to drag his foot. Mom noticed the foot dragging and insisted that he go to the hospital. Lucky for him she was observant. He had surgery within the hour and they were not sure that they were in time.
I won’t bore you with all the medical details, but know that he has a long road ahead of him. I do want to share with you how it felt to be his daughter.
I have always thought that my Dad was the BEST. He can do anything. He was my first love and I am grateful to him for all the life lessons he has taught me. To see him lying in a hospital bed was very hard for all of us. Because I was a nurse in my previous life and ran a physical rehabilitation unit I was aware of many things that thankful the rest of my family was unaware of. I really did try to just be his daughter, but when I thought that things weren’t going the way they should then I had to say something. Heck, the staff knew I was the “Nurse”.
Giving your father a bath and helping him in the shower busts down a barrier that is difficult to cross. My thinking was this gave Mom some down time and I could observe him and let Mom know of my concerns. Role reversal is never easy, but I would stand in the shower with him everyday if it would make his life easier.
I noticed the small subtle cognitive changes. It was frightening to notice that he couldn’t follow conversations. I nearly jumped for joy when he finally said my name. He is working hard on regaining his memory and manipulation skills.
I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about my sister, Helen, and my brothers, Joe and Paul. They are the best siblings. Helen got there first as she lives the closest. She saw him in an induced coma and when it really was touch and go. Joe arrived next and he brought humor and strength to Helen and my Mom. Paul was unable to come, but he called us or we called him every day. I of course flew from Guatemala to Fort Lauderdale , Fl. to Las Vegas and then was driven 2 hours by my niece to pick up my car and drive almost 6 hours to Tucson
Being the oldest I have always taken charge and think of myself as the Head Honcho. It was difficult for me to realize when I saw the emergency contact sheets and realized that I wasn’t the first or second contact. Helen and Joe are. I know I live in another country, but my heart felt like I was letting them down. I know they are all competent, they proved that. They are all successful in their lives, but I am the oldest and I feel it should be my responsibility. I understand and accept.
We talked about all the hard things: funerals in detail, what our parents want, cleaning out the house, etc. We talked about on our way to Dad and Mom that we would just start crying. I am sure that the guys sitting next to me on the plane thought I was a wacko. We laughed too. We hugged. We kissed. We told stories. We sat in silence and just enjoyed being together. It was hard to leave Mom alone with Dad, but it is time for them to be them. They know any of us will come when needed. They need continued prayer so don’t forget them just because the crisis is passed.
My last day with Helen and her family was wonderful. They let me play Guitar Hero on their Wii. What a blast!
To all my friends around the world who emailed me. I can’t thank you enough for your prayers and thoughts. It does make all the difference. I was reminded of the scene in” It’s a Wonderful Life “when Joseph and God are talking about George and all the prayers offered up for him. We knew they were listening to all of you. Thank you just doesn’t cover it, but THANK YOU.
No comments:
Post a Comment