These Things I Know

These things I know….

Sex and lust are for young people.  Love is forever.  Love is NOT trains crashing in midair.  Love is NOT birds singing. 

Love IS when you get up for the umpteenth time and wipe up the bathroom floor after your husband’s catheter has leaked blood and urine more times that you can remember or count.

Love is wiping said husband’s back and giving him a back rub because he has been in bed for too long.

Love is walking together, be it hand-in-hand or with you beside a walker, quad cane, or wheelchair.

Love is when you sit in the OR waiting room and wait for someone, anyone to tell you that, yes it is taking longer than expected, but the doctor will be out soon to talk to you.

Love is accepting the reality that an erection is NOT the most important thing in a marriage.  Companionship will last a lot longer.  A sunset or sunrise will last a lot longer.  Sharing a good book will last longer.  Almost anything that you can thing of will last longer than an erection!

Love is lying in bed with your Mother and trying not to cry about your Dad, who may not make it through the night.  Love is telling your siblings that it will be okay, even when you aren’t sure, but they need you to be strong.

Family is talking about nothing and everything at the same time.  Family is quiet when you want to scream,  “I can’t handle this!”  And then a hug that lets you know you are not alone and yes, you can handle this and so much more.

Family is, “Call me as soon as you hear something.  Once we know something we can make a plan.”

Family is looking at black and white photos with your parents and asking, “Who is that?  How are we related?  Tell me a story about them.”

Family is knowing that even though you haven’t talked in weeks or months, that they are in your corner.

Family remembers; the first Christmas, the first camping trip, the first time you got up on water skis, the time you were told that Santa lives in your heart, when you came out of the closet, when you cried because you disappointed them, and they forgave you before you asked.  Family remembers all the firsts and celebrates them.

Family is learning that you have the coolest brother-in-law.  That he would do anything for you.  And that could include a day at the Spa.

Family is a free massage from a professional and no charge.

Family is rotating to the blow-up bed at the lake when all you desperately want a good night sleep, but it is your turn… so suck it up.

Friendship is sacred and rare.  It is the call that says I need you, but please ask no questions.  It is acceptance of your warts and the flashes of brilliance that others may miss.

Friendship is taking an hour out of their day to speak Spanish or just listen to you vent when speaking Spanish is the last thing on your mind.

Friendship is an invitation to a lunch of homemade burgers, salad, cold beer or wine and a view of the river that leaves you wanting more.

Friendship is the people that will take your cat for an indeterminate time and make sure that it is loved and cared for while you are doing other things.

 

Friendship is the quiet touch and, “We’ll be thinking of you.”

A good book can and will take you away from whatever is tearing at your heart.  It is a friend that asks nothing of you and yet gives you more than you wished for…

Love is holding a baby for the first time and counting fingers and toes and thanking God that they are all there.

Love is your husband holding you while you identify the body of your child and together you stand and give witness to the life that could have been.

Hope comes in many forms.  The unconditional love of your parents.  The knowledge that your siblings will stand next to you and never doubt you.  Hope is the baby or grandbaby that you hold in your arms and dream about the future.  The quiet knowledge that no matter how bad you mess things up it can still turn out all right.

Love is learning to trust a child again after they have broken your trust.  It takes small steps.  It is a dance, it breaks your heart, and yet it can restore your faith in humankind.

Life is not what you think it will be, but it is more than you could ever imagine.  It is full of things that take your breath away and things that make you take an extra breath.

And this I know…I am what I am because of all of you.  To all of you who have believed in me, all of you that have questioned me and made me look deeper into myself.  To all of you that have held me up when I thought I couldn’t take another step, to all of you that gave me hope when I felt my most hopeless.  To all of you who loved me, even when I was my most unlovable.  To all of you that told me I could do, whatever, it was that I was sure I couldn’t.  Thank you.