I am willing to take on the job. You may be wondering in what occasions would you need Social Police. Let me enlighten you.
Carry on Bags: All the signs tell you the dimensions of the approved size. If you look around there are several people that have bags for carry on that exceed the size limits. That's right...time for the SP. "Excuse me sir/madam you are correct the rules do NOT apply to you. Go right ahead and break the rules."
Sitting in the waiting area. Our carry on bags have been inspected and we have been wanded twice. But we are flying out of Guatemala so 30 minutes prior to boarding you have to get out of your seat and let them go back through your bags and wand you one more time. Oh, and you can't have any drinks in the seating area after that last inspection. Now is when you need a SP. Someone always goes under the radar, gets a drink and sneaks it back in. How can this be? Because the employees are so busy chatting that they are not doing their jobs. I got so upset when I watched two women sneak two drinks in that I went up to the employees and asked why they could have a drink and we could not. It is amazing how fluent my Spanish is when I am pissed off.
Now we are getting ready for take off. The announcement is made that we ALL must turn off our electronic devices. That's right...time for the SP. "Excuse me sir/madam you are correct the rules do NOT apply to you. Go right ahead and break the rules." If we crash because you couldn't wait a couple of minutes to start your movie/music/etc that's okay.
If you must use the forward toilet the Flight Attendants make several announcements that you must line up behind row THREE. It is against the LAW to line up in front of row THREE. Someone call the Social Police! It seems that everyone believes that that rule/law does not apply to them. Even when they are reminded.
I must tell you the final event that really put my panties in a twist, it is as follows:
We land and there is applause. (I am not sure when that started...applauding the landing. In all my working years no one stopped and applauded me when I did a good job. But that is a different Blog.) So we are taxiing down the runway and people are standing up and taking down their luggage. The flight attendants start making the announcements. "You must stay seated we are on an active taxi way. All luggage must be returned to the overhead bins." Someone please call the Social Police. Some people sat down. Not one of them returned their luggage to the overheads. The flight attendants had to do that little job.
Enter the drunk. In the seats behind us was a young family with two small children. One of the children was in the mother's lap so the aisle seat was vacant. The drunk sat down and began to be extremely profane at the top of his voice. The mother asked him to move as she had paid for that seat and now her two year old son was now parroting the "F" word. Half of the plane laughed at this. Now the drunk takes up repeating, "Get back to your seat, you made my little boy say the "F" word. Oh, how horrible." At this point I pushed my attendant light since it appears that they did not want to be involved. Finally he was asked to get back to his seat. In the mean time his buddy came and sat next to me. He is hitting on the girls across the aisle from me and now he is talking loudly about how up tight the young mother was...and he starts up with the chant. At this point I ask him to go back to his seat. I even said please. His response, "You sweet, sweet woman" As he was leaving, my response, "And you young man are a jack ass!"
The first young man again became loud and belligerent for a second time. He was escorted to the front of the plane and I can only hope that he was met by the police. And I am not talking about the Social Police.
I could go on and on, but it is time to get off my soapbox. Cynthia and I are working on our uniforms.
P.S. Before the young mother left the plane I told her that she was the one that deserved the applause. She stood up for her child.
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